Between Control and Surrender

We usually get to hear "stay positive" or "trust the process." But sometimes, life doesn’t reward optimism, it puts it to a test. We all want to believe that all will be ok but at times you work hard and still face rejection, you plan carefully but chance plays a different card. Not everything turns out as we expect. 

When talking about the patterns in life , it’s important to consider different religious and philosophical traditions which suggest that fate, or divine will, governs much of our lives. Yet they also promote hard and glorify virtues of struggle. 


So what does it really mean to balance effort, fate, luck, and optimism as daily forces shaping our lives?


Let’s talk about this honestly, but through real struggles.


Optimism is the breath of fresh air when everything around you seems to collapse. It helps us get out of bed life feels pointless, encourages resilience in the face of failure, makes us hopeful to imagine a better future. But like everything else, too much of it,especially when it starts to contradict from reality, becomes dangerous.


Toxic optimism can lead to:

  • Keeping blind eye towards real threats or red flags.
  • Overpromising in relationships 
  • Unsatisfied life because you cannot overdo things.

Take an example, you are preparing for an exam or a job interview. You tell yourself, “I’ve got this.” You visualize success. But you get an unexpected score which is far from your expectation. 

Why do you feel heartbroken ? Because your optimism didn’t prepare you for failure and it makes you  question your worth, not just your performance. 


Similarly if a person starts a new business but doesn’t do complete homework about market trends and risk analysis, it’s likely that he might fail resulting in loss of both time, energy and resources. 


Whereas what we need is realistic optimism; a feeling of hope grounded in facts, and positivity intertwined with reality. This doesn’t promise that everything will work out but prepares us that when it doesn’t , we will find a way out. 


Struggle : Often at times I wonder if struggle is the ultimate key to success? And I conclude after careful consideration that yes, but it depends on the kind of struggle. Because not all struggle is worth it. Some struggle is pointless , especially if it leads to chronic stress, bitterness, or toxic cycles.Struggle for a purpose is what shapes a character and destiny.


The "grind" is glorified, yes,  but it’s important to ask yourself “What am I struggling for?”


Luck: Whether we like the sound of it or not,some  people get lucky.They’re born into stable families. They land their first job easily while you are exhausted due to series of interviews. They are easily noticed and rewarded at workplace while your hardwork is overlooked.This isn’t the cry of a defeatist or we cannot imply here that I’m stating this because the grapes are sour.It happens all the time and we witness it. 


But having said this, it’s also true that luck favors those who put consistent constructive effort.You may not have control over the timing of when your work is noticed but you should not compromise on the quality of your work.You may not be the loudest in the room, but you can make sure your words carry substance when you speak.


And over time, people who keep showing up, improving, and learning, they can pave a different path to a greater success because consistency wins most of the time and this reality no one can deny. 


Pressure : We all know that last-minute focus, it’s adrenaline-driven, and yes, sometimes it gets things done.But this kind of lifestyle is unsustainable. For example

  • Always saying yes
  • Living in a constant rush
  • Using stress as motivation

There’s a better way: Use pressure as a stimulant to fuel your effort. Structure your day with small, consistent steps and save power of pressure for rare, purposeful occasions.

In this regard, nature teaches us a profound lesson. It never hurries, yet everything gets done. For example

  • Trees grow taller over the years.
  • Rivers carve canyons over time, not force.
  • Animals rest, migrate, and cycle of life continues without disruption.
  • The sun rises and sets at its own time. 

We live in a world that says “push harder” but nature says “grow at your pace.”


Conclusion : 


Life is a cocktail  of struggle, faith, luck, and optimism. It cannot be designed and neither we are at the mercy of fate only. Only with time you learn the art of mastering how to balance these crucial factors. 

Comments

Anonymous said…
True. Balance is the key .
July 10, 2025 at 8:24 AM
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