Awakening

Imagine this:

You, the essence of you, your spirit, your consciousness, your soul hovering silently beside your physical self. You are invisible to the world, but profoundly present to the reality of your own life. You’re no longer the one caught in the hurry of the day, the constant ticking of the clock, the demands, the roles. You are simply observing. Witnessing……

……..You see yourself wake up.

A regular day has started. Just the familiar feeling of waking up, opening of eyelids , the first action of reaching for the phone, the slow shuffle to the bathroom. There is nothing grand in these early minutes everyday but there is something sacred in the simplicity. The fact that you rose again, in the comfort of your house. You observe a silent agreement with life: I’ll try again today.

You watch as the version of you you’ve built over the years takes form , through the clothes you put on, the face you present to the world, the roles you step into. Parent. Partner. Colleague. Friend. Daughter. Caretaker. Achiever. The many versions of you that pull on you like threads.

You watch her make breakfast and start her day with daily responsibilities, with the same mind that once painted vast futures in stardust. You observe the choices she makes and reflect on what could have been different. You catch her impulsive moments and see when her heart is merrier. You watch her care for others, respond to emails, apologize too quickly, smile too tightly, laugh sometimes just so no one knows she’s tired.

But you witness seeing her ease out a little , the music she sometimes plays that makes her feel alive, the way she pauses when the sky looks particularly beautiful, the time with herself when she enjoys coffee. These things don’t make headlines in anyone’s life, but they matter to her. 

Then there are moments of quiet reflections. The in-between moments. Maybe in the car at a red light, maybe while watching her kids, she thinks of her childhood. You see the flicker in her eyes as the memory flash in her mind. How the world felt so full of possibility.The promises she made to herself… 

The dream didn’t quite go as planned as one can never be sure of what time may bring.There are paths she never walked, versions of herself she never got to be. Some moments may have hurt her. Her body may have changed. Her family and loved ones close to her yet somehow she feels distant with herself.She evolved into different versions of herself over the time.

And just then you realize,we don’t lose ourselves all at once. We lose ourselves in pieces, in the quiet compromises, in the roles we play too well, in the dreams we shelve “for now” that turn into “maybe never.” But just as we lose ourselves in pieces, we find ourselves the same way.Piece by piece. Breath by breath. Moment by moment.

Despite it all, she has bloomed. She doesn’t cry over what once hurt her. She knows now what to let go and what to hold onto. She’s stronger in her quietest ways. And she embraces life as it comes , with a grateful heart. 

And in watching yourself for just one day, from the outside, without judgment, you might realize something revolutionary:

You were never really lost. You were just covered. Covered in expectations, in exhaustion, in the noise of becoming everything for everyone else.Beneath all that, you are still there.Still whole.

And now, maybe for the first time in a long while, you’re beginning to see her again. That hidden self. The self who still believes in passion. The self who still feels deeply, even if she’s had to harden in places.

…………..

I wonder what would happen if we gave ourselves that view more often? If we stepped outside of the rush and looked at ourselves not with critique, but with compassion? Not with disappointment, but with deep, quiet awe?

We might finally understand this truth:

To live is to try, to fall, and to rise…

And life, in all its mess and miracle, has made us more,not less.More tender. More layered. More real. And there is still time.To soften. To remember. To return.To begin again, not as someone new, but as the self we were always meant to be.

Let that be your awakening.