The Zen Master's Guide to Managing Insecure People

Dealing with insecure bullies is not a walk in the park.Insecure people are strong in their game ; specially how they are able to perfectly hide the ugliness inside them under the covers of looks, style and sweet talk. They create a toxic atmosphere through psychological manipulation, emotional guilt-tripping and hold you personally accountable for something you have never done.Their personalities are camouflaged which is why it’s difficult to recognize what kind of people we are dealing with. These people are similar to psychological parasites that feed off your confidence, and termites-like, they eat away at your personality slowly.

Their most prized weapon is gaslighting . This silent manipulative tool will make you doubt your own reality. 

Gaslighters will manipulate facts, divert responsibility, and play games with your perception of reality until you're left doubting your own sanity.


It’s important to protect yourself when you see the following red flags : 

  • They refuse to accept the truth as you see it, deny it and manipulate facts so that you'll be left wondering and unsure.
  • Something occurs, and fault is yours , even if you did nothing at all. They like to take you on a ride of guilt trip ; blame you for the things you are not responsible for. 
  • They are full of contradictions. One day it's "A," tomorrow it's "B." They'll always switch their story, lies after lies ; it’s a vicious cycle. 
  • They'll try to alienate you from your support group. Because of their insecurities; they are not comfortable with the feeling of seeing you with anyone else.

Insecure people are not mentally stable. They project their own inadequacies and fears on to you. They make you feel like you're not enough or that you're the cause of their emotional problems. The catch here is to break free from their toxic projections and stay anchored in your own truth. But the question is how : 

  • Draw boundaries like a fortress. Get really clear about what is and isn't “okay” behavior. 
  • Detach yourself emotionally. They will try to get an emotional reaction, but your best defense is self control. Keep your cool, stay calm. It doesn’t means that you don't care, it is not to allow their drama control your emotional state.
  • No response is the best response. Silence speaks volumes ; remember that but make sure it is not misunderstood as a weakness. 
  • Deflect.It's exhausting to work with manipulators. They will suck the energy out of you emotionally and leave you exhausted.Dont waste time reasoning with them. Keep your energy save for better things. 
  • Trust your instincts.Your gut is always correct. If it doesn't feel right, believe that. Don't let anyone twist your reality.

When dealing with people like these , there may arise a situation of confrontation. Don’t feel intimated by this . Speak your mind confidently but calmly. Sometimes, though, you will need to tackle them head-on . It is standing up for yourself, not a battle of egos. How you convey your point has the real power.Keep your cool but don’t be afraid to hold on to your ground.


I feel we should protect our energy like a personal jewel.At the end of the day, you are not responsible for anyone’s happiness at the expense of your self worth. Gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and insecurity can take many forms, but with the right arsenal, you can be above it. Your peace is important. Work on your tactics. Stand strong in your truth. 


You deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and honesty more than anything . You can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to change. There’s no way to fight fire with fire; sometimes the noble way is to walk away peacefully.


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